Picture this: interviewing for a website that wants you to write for them, only to be told you can’t bring the kind of value to the publication you were told they needed – desperately needed.
Sound familiar? Maybe. Maybe not.
My life, like any other life, is a series of triumphs and disappointments. As someone who spent the first 20 years of her life dreaming of a career in writing, I can say with full honesty that I expected to fail. I expected to be undervalued and under-appreciated. But I did not expect to relate on such a deep level to a group of fictional characters, all at crossroads in their lives, trying to grasp at any chance to live the life they have always wanted to live, with all the support they need – just not the right kind.
Like a Gilmore Girl, I often find myself lost and uncertain about where I’m supposed to be. Am I in the right place, with the right people, doing all the right things? Is everything I have worked so hard to achieve worth it yet – or am I just missing something?
Words are my strength as often as they are my greatest weakness. They are my outlet and my joy, but too frequently, my excuse for not doing all the things I want to do with my life. Words do not define me. They are the tools with which I move forward, whether I’m happy or sad or just completely over every single person who has ever told me I “should” do this or “should” do that.
It’s not about “should” or “would,” it’s about “will” and “can” and “I don’t know when so stop trying to rush me into figuring it out.”
Life is unpredictable and sometimes that results in hardships. Hardships often result in setbacks – that’s life. That’s reality. I wish people would stop asking me what’s next, because I don’t know. And I don’t have to. I’m as clueless about my future, personally and professionally, as you are. I write, but that’s not all I’m good for. I have an advanced degree, but these days, it doesn’t seem to matter.
Whatever happens next in my life isn’t just up to me, though many wrongfully assume that I’m in control of everything that happens to me. There are other people whose decisions directly and indirectly affect my life and what I want to do with it. Though I am in control of many of the things I do, I can still only do the best I can do. My best has to be good enough, because it’s all I’ve got.
My life is a series of stories without a definite end (yet). There are mysteries left unsolved, things left untied – and that’s OK. That’s the kind of life we should all be proud to live. With so many pages left unwritten, the possibilities, both imagined and real, are endless.
Meg is the creator of Novelty Revisions, dedicated to helping writers put their ideas into words. She is a freelance writer and an eight-time NaNoWriMo winner with work published in Teen Ink, Success Story, Lifehack and USA TODAY College. Follow Meg on Twitter for tweets about writing, food and nerdy things.
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