Well this is frustrating.
It’s been a long day. A long week. A long month, really. I’m behind on basically every project possible, there’s a lot of external drama I have to co-exist with for the time being, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I set too many “challnging” writing goals for myself this year. Or … too many goals in general. It’s a bad habit. I know.
Right now I’m sitting at my desk trying my best to stay awake, knowing this post has to get done (even though, if we’re being honest, the world really wouldn’t end if it didn’t). Knowing that I’m risking writing Not a Great Blog Post, though the hope is that you come here for real talk and not perfection.
Real talk: I still haven’t learned how hard is too hard when it comes to pushing myself.
Real talk: I’m worried I can’t keep going at this pace … and also that if I slow down, I’ll never speed back up again.
I’ve been awake for nineteen hours. I want, and need, to go to bed.
But my brain won’t turn off. Ideas for articles and stories are floating casually around in my head simultaneously begging for my attention. And I really want to sit down and start working on some of them. I’m EXCITED to start writing. I feel more motivated to write All The Things than I have in a few weeks and it feels pretty great.
Just the thought of having to put in the effort to write anything beyond a blog post — and even this is barely coming together as it is — exhausts me even more. Which is almost unfair, because I know I shouldn’t be mad at myself for not feeling “up to” writing, but I can’t help it. Motivation often kicks in after you start working on something — it seems backwards, I know, but trust me — and to have it greet you before you start a task is such a delightful treat.
I can’t enjoy it if I’m falling asleep at my desk. Desperate to write, but physically spent beyond reversal. No amount of coffee could fix this now. The day is done. I’m done.
I know I’m not the only one who has ever dealt with this. And if you’re looking for some kind of reassurance amidst your frustration, well the good news is, you’ve stumbled upon the right blog.
Continue reading “Feeling Motivated to Write, But Too Exhausted to Create”