I, like you, used to believe that every story I thought about writing but didn’t was a loss. I was somehow a less worthy writer because that story never got written.
We’ll come across thousands of story ideas in our lifetimes, though. We’ll consider writing about half of those. We’ll only ever get around to writing a small fraction of what’s left. Because we’re human. Because no matter how much you might love writing, you, being one person, can only write so much unassisted.
Ideas Find Us When Our Brains Are Free to Run Wild
If you’ve ever experienced the thrilling rush of a “shower idea,” you already know what happens when you have nothing to do but let your mind wander to wherever it might go.
When we don’t have screens in front of our faces or noise bursting from our headphones — when we deliberately allow ourselves the space and silence that invites creative expression — new ideas tend to come pouring in. Not always. But it’s the best way to brainstorm when you’re feeling stuck. It can feel a bit frustrating when a new idea wasn’t what you were clearing your head for, though.
Letting a Story Go Doesn’t Mean You’ve Failed
I’ve had an idea for a book in my head for a few years now. It stubbornly won’t go away, which means I might end up writing it someday. But I’ve long since let go of the urgency to work on that idea. Maybe it will become something someday, and maybe it won’t. But once I freed myself from the imagined need to give it my immediate attention, it sort of just settled in my brain. I think about it sometimes, but with casual interest, not stress or shame.
When you let go of your ideas, sometimes they stick around. Sometimes they don’t. Just because I haven’t written that specific book yet doesn’t mean I never will, or that I’m a failure for neglecting it. I’ve been working on other projects, and I simply haven’t been able to make it one of mine.
Some Stories Just Aren’t Meant for Us
Over the years, I’ve come up with plenty of story ideas that, for one reason or another, just never materialized fully for me. It’s likely happened to you, too. The good news is that this actually makes you a stronger storyteller.
Knowing which stories you’re capable of adopting and which ones you’re better of leaving for someone else is a skill only learned by doing, over a long period of time. You may not even notice you’re doing it. But the truth is, some stories just aren’t yours to tell. That’s okay. It’s better for everyone, in the end.
