Meg Dowell Writes

I was very upset today, for numerous reasons.

Today was my last day of vacation. No more Florida, no more seagulls trying to steal my pizza, no more happy walks on the beach or beautiful sunsets or anything. We checked out at eleven, the shuttle picked us up at 11:05, and then it was off to the airport! Which brings me to my next reason for being slightly irritated with Tampa Bay and Atlanta airports.

Okay, so here’s the story. (Actually, it’s not really a story. More of a long list of complaints all mashed together in story form. But no one’s here to criticize!) We were still in Florida, at the airport, and we hadn’t gone through security yet. So we decided to go into one of the airport bookstores to look for a book for me to read on the plane, or whilst waiting, etc; etc.

They didn’t have any Meg Cabot books.

I’m not even kidding you, you guys! First, we looked in two bookstores before the security checkpoint. And then after we went through security we looked at yet another bookstore. Still no Meg Cabot! No Princess Diaries or anything. They just skippped her over completely.

And that’s not even the worst of it. During our layover in Atlanta, we looked in another bookstore. And guess what? They still didn’t have any Meg Cabot masterpiecery! (Is that a word? If it’s not, then I’m oficially making it a word, because it fits here.)

So, because of this extremely upsetting matter, I have declared that I am forever boycotting all airport bookstores. At least until I find a Meg Cabot book in one of them. Until then, you will not see me stepping foot into an airport bookstore! I mean, come on! It isn’t like Twilight and a whole wall of self-help books are going to do anyone any good whatsoever. I spent the whole plane ride (well, both of them) doing nothing. Why? Because I had nothing to read. Why did I have nothing to read? If you don’t know the answer to this question, we need to have a serious talk about comprehention and understanding of Meg’s rants (mine, not Meg Cabots; though I do love her rants!).

There were many other factors contributing to my state of upset-ness throughout the day. I would make a list, but lists are seriously vague and obnoxious. This is not a list of life-long ambitions list, so these upcoming facts would not be considered worthy in list form. Trust me on this, would you? Thank you.

I learned today that pickles ruin perfectly stacked sandwiches. There I was, eating airport restaurant food. My half of turkey sandwich was perfect, with the cheese and the meat and the bread all in the order it should have been. And then, out of nowhere, my subconscious mind decided that it wanted to put a giant pickle in the middle of all of this perfection. Now, normally, I have nothing against pickles. But this pickle was a purely evil pickle. It made my sandwich fall apart. And that, along with no books to read on the plane, made me sad.

Have you ever noticed that Chicago is dumb? I’m sorry if you haven’t. This realization hit me today as we wre landing. Why? Because it was cold! And there was snow and ice and such winter-y things on the ground. I stuck my tongue out at it all, because it deserved it. The only good thing about coming back here was that I got to see my kitty. He was happy to see me, too. He told me so.

Who has to go to school tomorrow? Who’s happy about that? I know I’m not. Roar.