Meg Dowell Writes

If I had a hamster, I would name it Hope, because then every time I picked it up and it stared up at me with its little hamster eyes I would say, “I’m so glad I have you, Hope,” and that would be like a creepy metaphor for the fact that hope exists somewhere in the depths of my subconscious mind that someday I will figure out what kind of person I’m supposed to be, because right now I have no idea.

After watching eight consecutive hours of Gilmore Girls yesterday afternoon/evening, I have realized without trying that my life is a pathetic and boring mess, and that something extremely amazing and unbelievably perfect has to happen in the next few weeks, or I’ll be forced to walk up to my best friend in the whole world and tell her that I’m moving to Nebraska, because NOTHING ever happens in Nebraska, and nothing happening to you at all is a lot better than bad things happening. Even waiting for something good to happen is a killer on the heart.

I’ve also realized that I just wrote that last paragraph in two sentences, therefore creating the longest and most confusing run-on sentence ever read in the history of ever. But then again, you could always have fun with the mistake. Try reading it again, and as you do, picture me saying the entire thing in one breath. If you want, you can even add the part where I run out of air and topple down the stairs behind me whilst saying the words. If you want, of course.

It has recently occurred to me that it is Sunday and once again I have failed to fulfill my responsibilities as a student. Have a fun Sunday! And eat a sundae too. Mmmm.