I think sometimes I forget there is no set plan for my life – not one written in permanent ink that I can read, anyway. There’s no set place I’m supposed to be, no time I’m supposed to be there. I can do anything I want, within reason and logic. I can be anything I want. I had that mindset when I admitted I wanted to study dietetics, obviously, but two years later (almost to the day) I can honestly say my faith is being tested again.
Wait – don’t freak out. I’m not going to change majors again (not that I technically did in the first place). It’s still my intention to finish both degrees by August 2014, no matter what obstacles I face between now and then (and believe me, I’ve been head-butting a lot of them lately). The thing with both English and dietetics, though, is there really is no set “thing” to do after graduation aside from an internship that eventually leads to Registered Dietitian glory (NOT gory, at least I hope not). So, I mean, if the whole nutrition education thing doesn’t work out, I guess I could spend the rest of my life writing books and copy editing until passive voice is removed from the face of the Earth. Right?
To understand me, you have to understand this phrase: stubborn chick with attitude. That is me in a “nut” shell, I have found. To be honest, I have been through a lot in the past 21 years. Why else would I be writing a memoir? Okay, so no one’s ever going to read it, but whatever. My point is, if I just gave up and crawled into my nice cozy bed every time something awful came flying toward my face, I definitely wouldn’t have come this far. I wouldn’t have made it to senior year, a year or less from entering the “real” world with a “real” job working with “real” people.
I may have a plan – graduate, grad school/internship, RD exam, onward – but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen that way. I mean, I could graduate and decide to pack up everything (all my books, too, but that might cost a lot of extra luggage fees) and move somewhere totally random. Not middle-of-nowehre random, even though that might be pretty cool. Somewhere with a beach, maybe. Somewhere I can write and teach and maybe sometimes sing all day long without anyone there to tell me to stop.
The thing about dreams, though, is sometimes you have to want them enough to realize you can’t always just spontaneously get up and start chasing them. I have to finish school first, for example, at least my B.S. and B.A. (YES, both. Don’t judge.) I figure, after the past month has gone, by the time I actually get my diploma I’ll have a much better idea of where I’m supposed to go next.
Until then, I’ll just keep learning and writing and living the life I’ve come to love so much.
Don’t worry. I’ll let you know before I take off somewhere and leave the Midwest behind. You’ve got at least a year before having to worry about that.