Writing generally requires one of two things — either a baseline level of confidence, or the ability to fake it. Both can be surprisingly effective when you’re trying to break through the “I’m not good enough” barrier most of us face at different points in our lives as writers. Either you’re confident in your abilities or you aren’t; but sometimes you can trick yourself into believing you are, if only just long enough to finish what you’ve started writing, good or otherwise.
A lot of aspiring writers never get that far because they’re convinced they need to feel fully confident in themselves before they can even begin. That’s the myth — that self-confidence in writing is something you can develop before you start. That’s not actually how it works, though.
Writing Is An Uncomfortably Vulnerable Choice
The more you write, the more vulnerable you have to be. People relate to writing that accurately reflects their own experiences and feelings, which is why AI will never be able to write a good story. If you want to write something other people will fully resonate with, you’ll have to open yourself up and put some of yourself — particularly your emotions — into your words.
This is extremely uncomfortable for many people. Which is why it takes years of practice to get right. You cannot build up the self-confidence required to put yourself out there over and over without actually doing it. Writing is a skill learned only by performing. If you want to feel confident while you do it — or learn to fake it, whichever works for you — you need to, well. Do it. A lot.
Writing Is Hard; Being Published Is Harder
It doesn’t get easier once you’re published, either. People are going to read your words — which is what you want! But not everyone who engages with your work is going to do so with praise. And it’s part of your job as a writer to build up a shield of sorts, composed largely of that self-confidence I mentioned earlier, to block out the feedback that isn’t helpful or necessary.
And how do you begin constructing this shield? You already know the answer: By writing, publishing, and learning to take the comments and reviews as they come. Or ignore them, if that’s your better weapon! (i do a healthy amount of both; sometimes you want to know what people are saying, but often times, you don’t need to put yourself through that — it’s totally normal to just mute it and move on.)
But Are You Really Going to Let All That Stop You?
Writing — and “being” a writer — takes confidence. But that doesn’t mean you have to feel fully confident in everything you write all the time. In fact, I’m not feeling super confident in this post even as I’m writing it. But as you can probably guess, I haven’t stopped yet. Because I’ve come to realize that it’s all too often the pieces we feel the least confident about that resonate with readers the most.
You aren’t going to wake up one day and suddenly feel like you’re the greatest writer who has ever lived — not if you haven’t just always felt that way naturally (and if you have — what magic potion did you take, and can I try it?). You’re going to have to show up to work every day and write even when you’re not convinced you’re doing your best. And that’s OK — because it’s the writers who keep writing, despite their self-doubt, who make it the farthest in their careers down the line.
Meg Dowell Writes 