I hate winter.
We’re motivated! Let’s go work out! Let’s hang and drink coffee on campus! Let’s study in the library! JUST KIDDING! It’s 12 degrees outside and the wind is attracted to my face. Not. Okay.
Tonight (after chem help session, which I will go to, because I need an A in chemistry this time), I will curl up on my couch in my pajamas and fuzzy slippers. I will read Wuthering Heights, and stuff my brain full of medical nutrition therapy, and it will be wonderful.
I will also miss Bunheads, which makes me sad.
I don’t understand a lot of things. I’m not stupid, I just come off as chronically uninterested in everything until I find a reason to take interest in it. What I understand the absolute least about living on this planet is why people are so set on staying where they are and then complain religiously about it. If you live in Illinois, and hate Illinois weather, then MOVE! I happen to like living where I do. I could have chosen to go to school anywhere I wanted. That’s my proof.
If my topic of interest from paragraph to paragraph seems scattered, it’s because my brain has decided to never slow down. Ever. That’s why I have to spend at least a half hour journaling every day, or my head would explode. Why do you think some books are written in a matter of weeks? Sometimes, stuff just spills out onto the page without warning. Writer’s Vomit? Nope, not liking that imagery too much. Rewind. Rewrite. Undo. Delete.
Have you ever thought about the word “sad?” How many synonyms are there for it (off the top of my head, in alphabetical order, of course)? Blue, cheerless, down, gloomy, glum, heartbroken, melancholy, somber, troubled (9). How many synonyms are there for the word “happy?” Blessed, cheerful, chipper, delighted, elated, glad, jolly, joyful, merry, overjoyed, perky, pleased…..that’s already more words to describe happy than sad.
What is the English language trying to tell us? It’s easier to put into words how being happy feels than it is to describe sadness. We want to know happiness. We want to feel it, to taste it, to wrap our arms around it and hold it close forever.
Sadness is an unwanted emotion, yet we have all felt it, and we all know what it’s like. But describing it is different. In the midst of our darkest days, we let our feelings speak for us. Those feelings, turned into words, become the greatest written works of all. An unexplainable sadness then turns into joy, just from an unsuccessful attempt at explaining misery’s true form.
When we’re happy, we think about being happy. When we are sad, we think of ways to make ourselves happier. It is human nature, a necessity, to want to feel on top of the world. And that’s why the little things tend to bring us so much internal warmth: a puppy curled up in our lap. A warm fire on a cold January night. A friend with an unused hug. Someone who goes out of their way to remind us that they are always here, no matter what.