You can’t take it anymore.
Here you are again, at the end of another long week. You haven’t written a single word, even though you keep telling yourself that’s going to change, starting now.
It never does.
Or maybe you’ve written thousands upon thousands of words this week. But you’re not proud of a single one of them. You want to feel at least an ounce of confidence about what you write, but you can’t, no matter how hard you try.
You hate it. And yourself.
Your frustration toward the act of writing — or lack thereof — is wearing you down. You’re so tired of feeling tired that you’re starting to seriously consider quitting, if only so you can stop being so upset that you’re not writing what or when or as much as you want to be.
Here’s an important reminder you might need today: your feelings mean something.
Your frustration isn’t silly or childish or a waste.
It’s a sign.
It means you care.
It means you’re so passionate about doing something with your life — you’re so sure you’re destined to write, somehow, some way — that you can’t stop thinking about it.
You’re so worried about not making it that you’ve overwhelmed yourself wondering if it’s hard because it’s not what you’re meant to be doing at all … or perhaps the opposite.
If you didn’t really care about writing — if it was just some fleeting spark of a desire that was never meant to light a fire within you — you wouldn’t feel the way you feel right now.
As much as it hurts, as awful as this frustration and confusion and anxiety makes you feel, it’s not all for nothing. You’re feeling challenged and stretched. You’re no longer comfortable. You’re growing as a writer, and your old way of doing things, of structuring your life, no longer fits who you long to become.
You feel this way because you’re meant to be a writer.
And finding your place along that path is hard.
And you’re still figuring out exactly what you’re supposed to be doing with all these words in your head.
There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you’re showing subtle signs of growth.
You’re recognizing that what you want to be happening is not happening. And you’re searching for ways to solve these problems, crash through these roadblocks, and write.
You want to be better. You know that you’re not doing your best. That you aren’t your best you, yet.
This is what frustration is for.
You are upset with yourself because you know, deep down, it’s time to take another step forward. It’s time to leave behind the things holding you back.
Let them go.
Your frustration is a signpost. It’s telling you the game is just getting started.
Move forward. Do the things. Write the words. Learn. Grow. Achieve.
The only one stopping you is you.
Meg is the creator of Novelty Revisions, dedicated to helping writers put their ideas into words. She is a staff writer with The Cheat Sheet, a freelance editor and writer, and a 10-time NaNoWriMo winner. Follow Meg on Twitter for tweets about writing, food and nerdy things.
5 thoughts on “You’re Upset With Yourself Because You Care”
Thanks for this. I think I really needed to read this today. Lately, I’ve been procrastinating on writing my book by writing on my blog. Writing to avoid writing…I’ve truly reached new levels of procrastination! 😂 I think it’s time I take some time to reflect why I’m avoiding my work.
I’m really glad this post has made you consider asking yourself the “tough” questions. As creatives, we do find the most….’productive’ ways to procrastinate and convince ourselves we’re not making lame excuses! haha. (I get it … I haven’t touched my book in almost four months. I’m scared to finish it!)
So inspiring. Thank you so much, Meg. I’ve struggled to write this week, but I will press on. Novels, Camp NaNoWriMo, Patreon page, here I come!
YES! YOU CAN DO IT! Got those goals, now get ’em done!!
Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
Check out this though-provoking post from the Novelty Revisions blog on being upset with yourself because you care