10 Ways to Properly Insult a Writer

Hit them where it hurts.

1. Call them names for some reason. Like, why not?

2. Assume things about them you couldn’t possibly know are true.

3. Point out every little flaw in their work. Go ahead. It’ll be fun.

4. Find a way to disagree with them on everything. After all, you must know more than they do on every subject.

5. Base your comments off the title of their work without reading any further.

6. Use big words. You’ll totally impress them and show them how smart you are.

7. If you can’t say something nice, keep tweeting.

8. Attack their friends. Their family. Their fur children. Somehow, they probably deserve it.

9. If they don’t respond, YELL LOUDER.

10. Go on reading and criticizing them/their work. Hey, at least you’re giving them pageviews.

Meg is the creator of Novelty Revisions, dedicated to helping writers put their ideas into words. She is a staff writer with The Cheat Sheet, a freelance editor and writer, and a 10-time NaNoWriMo winner. Follow Meg on Twitter for tweets about writing, food and nerdy things.

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10 thoughts on “10 Ways to Properly Insult a Writer

  1. And they get the ‘Sympathy’ vote too!
    (On an tenuously linked point Frank Zappa was once walking past a music venue and saw the audience streaming out in disgust, he thought ‘Any band that gets that reaction must have something’. And met with the then unknown Alice Cooper)

    1. I lovvvve that story. I honestly feel like some people are just threatened by confidence. I feel weird writing that, but, I’ve noticed the better I feel about a piece, the more people seem to try to bring me down. They can try. :P

      1. You keep on keeping on Meg.
        There is a miserable, small, sewer dwelling lesser caste of folk who have such sterile lives this is all they are capable of.
        This is why I do like WP where the air is fresher and writers support each other.
        The most important thing you are doing is writing. To write (leaving out the hate-mongers and the puerile pornographies) is to play a part in enriching the culture of the world around you. Once a person has written something and posted or published it, that work then achieves a place in the grander scheme of history and leaves the message ‘I was there. I achieved this!’
        Never give up writing Meg, the world today and tomorrow calls to you.
        All the best

  2. 11. Start with a compliment and follow it with a ‘but’…
    We could probably keep this list growing for quite a while, right?

  3. How about, ‘show how articulate you are by misspelling almost every single word. Preferably while using unnecessary capitalization. “U R WORSE RITER EVAR!!!” LOL :)

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